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NeS2 Post 1784
NeS2 Post 1784 has Arkng Thand continuing to read Britt the Legend but, for the sake of the Readers, he skips material relating to the legal jargon regarding the Earth-Jupiterian god feuds. Marduck ends the threat to Earth, as caused in NeS2 Post 1784, using his godly powers but he feels quite spent and hungry. He initially wants to eat Britt but Britt convinces Marduck he could spread the good word of his deeds if he is sent back to Earth. Rather than sending Britt straight there he fires Britt from a cannon, attached to a cannonball, at Earth. As neither of them realised how long this would take, Britt wouldn't arrive back on Earth until the 15th Century and spends the entire time either dead or in BrittSleep. Because Britt wasn't there to tell the people of Earth what happened, Ares went on to claim credit instead, which led to the feuding gods. Post Britt the Legend: Chapter Fourteen In this chapter of Britt the Legend, one must first understand the long and complicated histories of Jupiter, how their mythological gods shaped its people, how its people shaped their gods, and the long-standing feud between the gods residing on Jupiter and the gods residing on Mount Olympus, all of which could only be compiled by the records held by the Taxman in Forms J-32 through J-4365 between the Earth years 92 B.C.E. and, as of this side-compilation, 2002 C.E. (though also including form D-75926 from exactly three hundred years after the end of the "Common Era" and the start of the "Glorious Toaster Era"). Without further adieu, enjoy these gripping tales of adventure, romance, and tax-reformation in... MARDUCK THE MOST IMPORTANT AND TRUE MYTH: Section One FORM J-32 Full Name: Marduck--'' '''Thrawnnumbarz:' "Mr President." President Thand: "I presume your interruption of my study time means you have important news for me." Thrawnnumbarz: "You asked me to inform you when a NeS page had passed by." President Thand: "Ah. Time seems to pass quicker these days, and even more so when studying. Inform me again when another has passed." Thrawnnumbarz: "Yes, sir." President Thand: "A lucky break for the audience - I'll be skipping those sections in the interest of time..." ...and further observation of Ares, Marduck, and Echidna are to be continued. Due to the infallibility of System Clerks as noted in Section 436, Paragraph 14, Echidna will continued to be identified as half-echidna and not half-snake as claimed by eyewitnesses and participants of the Earth-Jupiter Deity Feud. END FORM J-4365 And now, the following chapter of Britt the Legend will make complete sense. ------------------------------- Britt the Legend: Chapter Fourteen Britt: "So how do we stop the Earth from being destroyed?" Marduck: "Already did." Britt: "What? How?" Marduck: "I'm a god! I can do whatever the bloody hell I like!" Britt: "Oh, right." Marduck: "All that flexing of my godly powers though left me hungry..." Britt: "W-wait! You don't want to eat me!" Marduck: "Are you telling me, the most important and true mythological god to exist, what to do? You're not very smart, are you?" Britt: "Uh, you don't want to kill me because you'll need someone to go back to Earth and tell everybody how you saved them!" Marduck: "And why do I need you to do this, mortal?" Britt: "I'm told I'm fairly charismatic, and I can give you good PR...?" Marduck: "I'm still listening to you, so you've got that going for you. I best send you off then." In an instant, a large cannon appears, and from it, bindings attached to a cannonball that are now attached to Britt's ankles. Marduck: "Alright, now just toss the ol' cannonball into the cannon and I'll fire you right off to Earth." Britt: "What?! Can't you just wish me back to Earth?" Marduck: "I told you, flexing my godly muscles tired me out. This is what I'm up for doing. That is, unless you want me to eat you." Britt: "In the barrel you go, little ball!" And with that, Marduck lights the cannon and fires Britt off into space, towards Earth. Unfortunately, neither Marduck or Britt really understood just how far away Jupiter was from Earth -- 588 million kilometers to be exact -- and with the cannonball traveling at a rate of about 40 kilometers per hour once it escaped Jupiter's gravity, roughly placed Britt back on Earth in about the turn of the 15th century. Without Britt to say otherwise, Ares took all the credit for saving the Earth from Jupiter, after which the planet between Earth and Jupiter was named after him. The Earth-Jupiter Deity Feud started shortly after. Needless to say, Britt once again di--er--"rested though BrittSleep" during his travels back to Earth. Category:Post Category:NeS2 Post